New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I touched a dick in church today
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
