its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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