Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
