i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
