Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
