All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
