So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
