so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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