having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
