I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
