Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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