:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
