why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
