i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
