we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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