She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
