O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
