And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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