somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
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