I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize