I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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