You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
