There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
