I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
