Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
