No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
