I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
