and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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