i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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