Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
...so i touched it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
