she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
