I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
