1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
