If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
