So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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