in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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