Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
