Where is the hickey?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
