you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Green mimosas i think yes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
