Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
