why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
