someone get that fucking seahorse.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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