420 ftw
I puked a lego.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
