wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
