I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
kristin has been a bad kristin
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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