I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
