I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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