Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
