So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
