you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
